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Grammar Moses: Why Print Delivery Is Going To The Dogs

BY JIM BAUMANN

Like any good newshound, I dip my toe into all manner of social media channels to see what actual humans are talking about.

Yes, even Nextdoor, where, it seems, one’s entire sphere of awareness is informed by what someone else in the group tells them is going on. In my Nextdoor group, one can see how quickly something like anti-5G hysteria (for realz) can proliferate.

I like to jump in there on occasion and answer a comment with a link to a relevant Daily Herald story, just to do my part in spreading the gospel.

“Hi, I was wondering if anyone still gets the newspaper delivered to their house,” began the inquiry from a woman who lives a couple of neighborhoods away from me.

Oh, goodie, an opportunity.

“My dog was just bred last week. If she is indeed pregnant I will need newspapers badly.”

Well, that’s not the primary reason I’ve devoted the past 36 years to journalism.

Twenty-two people responded. I was heartened to see that, for once, every respondent (with the possible exception of me) was being very helpful and that most of them said they — or a neighbor or a parent — received a newspaper. No one questioned the politics of the dog or its owner.

I simply couldn’t help myself. After one man responded he still got a newspaper six days a week, I retorted: “Newspapers are great to read, too! I’d be happy to deliver one to your home SEVEN days a week. All you need to do is click to subscribe: https://www.dailyherald.com/subscribe/

I was roundly ignored by the helpful neighbors.

Hey, it’s tough out there. We all know that. I snipped a portion of the Nextdoor conversation and posted on my Facebook page with the heading: “It’s come to this.”

It was greeted with various forms of mild shock and dismay. My Facebook friends rarely let me down.

This episode has taught me one thing: As long as there are puppy and bird owners among us, the print edition will never go away.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was written by Jim Baumann, vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. He writes an occasionally humorous weekly column dubbed “Grammar Moses.”

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